Robert Black

"There is some kind of elegant gentleness to Paris that I don't quite understand yet."

"Those who hate lawyers, have either hired the wrong one and lost, represented themselves and lost, or had such a bad case that no lawyer could win it."

"Politicians are people who learn not to blink, when they lie."

"Anyone who craves an afterlife has not lived their life to the fullest."

"When you are gambling, though you probably do not know it, your mind is on the tide, the ebb and flow of the Universe, and there is no way to fight it. Going with the flow is the only option, so there is no point in struggling against it, but, it will tell you how you sit with God, or the Universe, at that particular time in your life."

"That drinking thing, the night before an early morning start, I actually think it helps the productivity in some ways (as long as it's not spirits) it gives you that I don't give a fuck attitude, more relaxed, I'm getting away with it after all, I had a life last night, and now I may be hungover, but I had that secret world that you didn't have, and that you tried to take away from me, want to take away from me. But I still got that beer buzz. And I'll do it again, tomorrow night too. I'll never surrender. And when I'm working, I'll be thinking about it. Those moments of mine, truly mine, that you can never have or take away from me."

"To be or not to be, fucked up on whiskey, that is the question."

"If I only drink beer, nothing stronger, then by the end of the night I can generally recognize myself as a reasonable human being, and more importantly, wake up that way."

"The thing about alcohol, though non-drinkers, non-alcoholics and reformed alcoholics may falsely dispute this, is that each day, or night on booze, is a different journey, the destination being a mystery, but quite possibly the final one."

"I cannot trust my other side, my drunken side, to act in my best interests anymore."

"When you are young your body cannot handle alcohol, and when you get old your mind cannot handle it. Either way, alcohol has its way."

"Day zero, the disaster, the serious shock, the near self-destruction. Day two, the suffering, the repentance, the depression, and the promises. Day three, the recovery, the wall, some light, and the joy. Day four, the strength, the resolution, the celebration, and the plan. Day five, exercise to purify and strengthen, the first twinge, small and beaten. Day six, many twinges, major twinges, the doubt, the questions, the boredom, the resentment, and the wall begins to crumble. Day seven, off to buy booze."

"When considering female human beings, we should ask ourselves what kind of organisms become overjoyed when presented with decapitated plants as gifts? I suppose we should consider ourselves fortunate they do not become overjoyed when presented with decapitated animals as gifts."

"I was born with a broken key in my mouth."

"It’s relatively easy to act nice and normal in front of a crowd, or in public. The tricky part is doing it in private."

"Art corrupts. Absolute art corrupts absolutely. Please corrupt me absolutely."

"A true heterosexual never has a problem with gay people, gay people sense he is into pussy and only into pussy. That’s why I can’t abide homophobes, deep down they fear their little secret will one day be exposed, picked up by a very reliable gaydar, as sure as wifi is picked up by a computer."

"Better say gays are bad, or people might think I am gay. That's homophobia, in a nutshell."

"Most of my girlfriends are sent by the Devil and seem genuinely bemused when I do not succumb to their powers."

"The purpose of life is to fall in love, and never get caught."