Robert Clark

"I am with the Hot Sexy Banking Corporation. As all the other banks are going bust, they are just getting bustier."

11 Quotes

"I am with the Hot Sexy Banking Corporation. As all the other banks are going bust, they are just getting bustier."

Robert Clark

"I was very surprised when last I bought a packet of cigarettes and had to request a refund as I read a warning that told me "smoking can cause fatal lung cancer"."

Robert Clark

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"Yes, you may ask my name but only if you can tell me: are your thighs as fine as a fresh, crisp morning in early July?"

Robert Clark

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"Delia Smith needs to realise that when Nigella flirts with the camera she comes across as a slut. When Delia does it she comes across as an old slut."

Robert Clark

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"I will now sing another song for your pleasure. Now, if you like Phil Collins...you should be shot in the head."

Robert Clark

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"I think Amy Winehouse's decision not to go to rehab was a bad one. In fact, I think it was the worst idea since Dodi Al Fayed said to Princess Diana, "Ooh, look! A tunnel! Whack that seat belt off and let's have a fuck."

Robert Clark

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"People tell me I shouldn't smoke because it is makes you look like a tit. I use exactly the same argument when people tell me they go to the gym."

Robert Clark

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"Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?"

Robert Clark

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"The government are tightening up on ID for sales of tobacco and alcohol so I recommend that young people take more drugs."

Robert Clark

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"Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand."