Alain de Botton

Alain de Botton

"The arrogance that says analysing the relationship between reasons and causes is more important than writing a philosophy of shyness or sadness or friendship drives me nuts. I can't accept that."
118 Quotes
"The arrogance that says analysing the relationship between reasons and causes is more important than writing a philosophy of shyness or sadness or friendship drives me nuts. I can't accept that."
Alain de Botton
"The solution as consumers is - perhaps surprisingly - to take adverts very, very seriously. We should ask ourselves what it is that we find lovely in them - the visions of friendship, togetherness, repose, or whatever. And then consider what would actually help us find these qualities in our lives."
Alain de Botton
"Where is instruction in relationships, in the management of career, in the raising of children, in the pursuit of friendship, in the wise approach to anxiety and death? All this sort of stuff I craved to learn about when I was a student and down to this day."
Alain de Botton
"There's a constant tension between the excitement of new people and security with one person. If you go with excitement, you create chaos; you hurt people. There's jealousy, and it gets very messy. If you have security, it can be boring, and you die inside because of all the opportunities missed."
Alain de Botton
"I'm also interested in the modern suggestion that you can have a combination of love and sex in a marriage - which no previous society has ever believed."
Alain de Botton
"The death of marriage has been announced so often and would seem so normal, in a sense. So what's surprising is the sheer longevity and tenacity of this institution."
Alain de Botton
"We are properly ready for marriage when we are strong enough to embrace a life of frustration."
Alain de Botton
"You will often be in despair. You will sometimes think it's the worst decision in your life. That's fine. That's not a sign your marriage has gone wrong. It's a sign that it's normal it's on track. And many of the hopes that took you into the marriage will have to die in order for the marriage to continue."
Alain de Botton
"What is fascinating about marriage is why anyone wants to get married."
Alain de Botton
"The romantic person instinctively sees marriage in terms of emotions, but what a couple actually gets up to together over a lifetime has much more in common with the workings of a small business. They must draw up work rosters, clean, chauffeur, cook, fix, throw away, mind, hire, fire, reconcile, and budget."
Alain de Botton
"To a shameful extent, the charm of marriage boils down to how unpleasant it is to be alone."
Alain de Botton
"I do think that travel can be part of a journey of inner maturation, but you've got to do it right."
Alain de Botton
"Travel is a lot like love."
Alain de Botton
"Fantasies can be great, but we shouldn't make the wedding a fantasy, because the wedding is the gateway to married life. It shouldn't be a moment of illusion; it should be a moment of preparation."
Alain de Botton
"I like the values associated with a medical family - common sense, being practical but also thoughtful."
Alain de Botton
"Laughter is an important part of a good relationship. It's an immense achievement when you can move from your thinking that your partner is merely an idiot to thinking that they are that wonderfully complex thing called a loveable idiot. And often that means having a little bit of a sense of humour about their flaws."
Alain de Botton
"I see religion as a storehouse of lots of really good ideas that a secular world should look at, raid, and learn from."
Alain de Botton
"Learning to give up on perfection may be just about the most romantic move any of us could make."
Alain de Botton
"A city like London is sociable in a sense that there are people gathering in bars and restaurants, concerts and lectures. Yet you can partake of all these experiences and never say hello to anyone new. And one of the things that all religions do is take groups of strangers into a space and say it is OK to talk to each other."
Alain de Botton
"On paper, being good sounds great but a lot depends on the atmosphere of the workplace or community we live in. We tend to become good or bad depending on the cues sent out within a particular space."
Alain de Botton
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