A.R. Merrydew

"I had a close encounter with an alien last week. He returned to visit us and was amazed we were still here."

"Mastering the technology to create effigies of our ourselves, will be our downfall."

"I see you made it Jack,’ he started to say, noticing a silver sphere roll across the loading bay floor. It stopped just short of his shoes before it exploded."

"Semilla’s Phlegm-O-Matic promptly made an observation. ‘Wow Semilla look at that shuttle.’     ‘Keep your voice down Raymond we’re in danger,’ Semilla hissed.     ‘Raymond?’ Burt said incredulously.     ‘I had to give him a name, didn’t I?"

"     ‘The onboard computer just wants to say a few words before we leave.’     The speakers in the cabin crackled into life. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome you on-board the presidential shuttle for tonight’s illicit flight, Alfa Bravo Charlie. I would just like to say it’s a pleasure to meet you all and thank you so much for coming here tonight to steal me. To be honest I don’t get out much these days so this is something of a special occasion.’     ‘It will be for us too if we get caught,’ Semilla said sardonically."

"He grabbed at Rupert’s earphones and gave his colleague a very serious look. ‘What do you know about share dealing?’Rupert placed a finger on his chin and mulled over the question with a studious look. ‘Now you come to mention it,’ he said, ‘I know absolutely nothing.’Norman grabbed his arm and began dragging his bewildered companion to the nearest lift. ‘Then we need to find out, and find out fast."

"So, you know that group up there in the Planetarium then?’ The pistol continued. ‘Hey they say it’s a small world.’     ‘Are they alright?’ asked Semilla darting forward.     ‘Yeah, they’re all fine, apart from the President he’s rather dead actually, oh and one of the lampposts I’m afraid he copped it too.’     Baz’s beacon flickered with emotion. ‘Which one?’ he asked.     ‘There was only one President as far as I know,’ said the pistol indifferently."

"Sir, I think you need to read this,’ he said, nervously handing over the mainframe’s dissertation of its own wellbeing."